SAT Essay Prep: Thesis, part 1

Writing a good clear thesis is essential to a successful essay. You want a thesis that does several things:

1. Answers the prompt
2. Takes a side
3. Explains WHY you think what you think

Number three is the tough one. Let's take a look at the first two first.


Here's a prompt from the June 2008 SAT, which I'm quoting directly from the College Board website:

Prompt 1

Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.

Most of us are convinced that fame brings happiness. Fame, it seems, is among the things people most desire. We believe that to be famous, for whatever reason, is to prove oneself and confirm that one matters in the world. And yet those who are already famous often complain of the terrible burden of fame. In fact, making the achievement of fame one's life goal involves commitments of time and effort that are usually wasted.

Adapted from Leszek Kolakowski, Freedom, Fame, Lying, and Betrayal: Essays on Everyday Life

Assignment:

Does fame bring happiness, or are people who are not famous more likely to be happy? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

OK, so after reading this, you brainstorm for two or three minutes and think of some famous people: Paris Hilton, Paul Newman, George Clooney, George Bush, Brad and Angelina. Are they happy? Well, it's not like you know them and can say for sure, but it seems like they're happy. WHY are they happy? Is it because of the fame? It seems like maybe that's true for Paris Hilton, but not for Brad and Angelina or for Paul Newman. So, you decide to write that no, fame does not bring happiness.

OK. great. You have taken a side and answered the prompt, so your thesis might look like this:

'As evidenced by the lives of celebrities, fame does not bring happiness.'

OK. That's good. It's clear, it's direct, it answers the question asked.

What it still needs to do to be a knockout is explain WHY you think that fame does not bring happiness. Which brings us to item number 3.

So, WHY don't you think that fame is responsible for making people happy? Well, though people pursue it, they also complain about it and try to escape it -- Brad and Angelina went all the way to Africa to have a baby, so they could escape their fame. Paul Newman was happiest at his camp for disabled children -- where no one knew who he was. If fame brought them happiness, why would they want to escape their fame??

So your revised thesis might look like this:

"If you look closely at the lives of celebrities, it's clear that fame does not bring happiness because the celebrities often try to escape their fame, and few people run away from things that bring them happiness."

Here's the magic piece: "Because."

If you can answer the prompt and then add the word "because" and then explain the reasons that led you to choose the side that you did, your thesis will be much stronger. I repeat: What's important here is that you can articulate WHY you have chosen the side that you did -- in this case, WHY you think that celebrities aren't happy because of fame.

End of part 1.

Next post: More on Brainstorming...